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Open Question: is sex important in a relationship? and more... Open Question: is sex important in a relationship?Hello Im 30 years old and have been with my girlfriend for 11 years. We get on well but we have always had a problem in the sex department. Ive never been satisifed in that area with her. She has never induldged in foreplay and she always seems distant when we do have sex. She was badly mis-treated by an ex-boyfriend before me and so ive never pushed her to do anything she didnt want to but im getting really frustrated now. We just seem like friends. She said to me recently that she zones out during sex and cant relax and also that she can never be a normal girlfriend to me but will make up for it in other ways. Im not really sure what that means but I assume she means like a best friend. Im really torn as ive always treated her right and tried to please her sexually but there is never a response. We have a Morgatge which ties us together but is it wrong to leave a relationship over this? We have been to counselling but to no avail. Any comments would be greatly welcomed. Thank you. Open Question: Does he still likes me?There is a guy who likes me for almost 3 years. He even wrote me a romantic letter which I never responded. He used to mail me, text me, call me and so on. Because I am very shy I rarely responded to his calls or texts… He asked me out for about 3 or 4 times (this after I broke up my last relation – yes meanwhile I had a boyfriend a bad guy but I liked him, with whom I broke up more than 1 year ago)… The problem is that I was never sure if I liked him and was also insecure about the fact that he is 12 years older than me. Maybe I was a little immature (I am 22) and found him a bit old fashioned at the time. But know after knowing him better iI find him sweet, intelligent, strong, serious and with humor at the same time… well a man that knows what he wants (he also has a very good job…)… a nice guy But from 1 month ago he stopped call me and text me or chat with me via messenger. We live in different cities so we didn`t met yet since then… I think that maybe he thinks after trying so much with that I don`t like him after all (I didn`t said yes when he asked me out – I didn`t say no either… i feel a bit embarrassed near him) or was playing hard to get or even playing with him. Do you think he lost interest in me? Did I messed up? BTW a friend told me that he is not seeing anyone... Should i wait for him to see what he does? Should I tell him how I feel or make it more visible to him? Please help… What should I do? Thanks. Red Open Question: What do you think about my relationship with my boyfriend?Ok well... I'm bringing this up due to a very recent event that happened between my boyfriend and his mom that I was present for, which I will mention near the end, but please read all of it before you comment. My boyfriend and I have been together for more than 2.5 yrs and we get along quite well. We always get any existing problems resolved in a calm manner, we make each other laugh, comfort each other, and all in all make each other happy. However, over the course of the relationship we have gone through things that most couples would have separated over by now... I'm just wondering what everyone thinks about our relationship as a whole. Ok... on the not so bright side of our relationship... my boyfriend has a bit of a streak of anger, which scares me sometimes, because when he's angry you DO NOT touch him. He's in the military, he has trained in self defense, and he works as a security guard. The first time he hurt me was when we were fooling around and play fighting on my bed. I was trying to push him off my bed and apparently I was pushing a pressure point on his chest and in a minute of that same position he then grabbed on to my neck with his free hand and started to choke me. I froze up and he then told me "let go". i got my hand away from his chest, he let go of my neck, and then moved away. I stayed silent for a bit but we eventually talked it out... he told me it was a reflex. The next time was when once again we were play fighting again and he told me to stop this time but he had a smile on so I thought he was "resisting" a little... he had told me before that a little bit of playful "resistance" is fun (true) so i didn't think anything of it and kept play fighting. Then he flipped me over and started to twist my arm... I didn't think it hurt that much, because all that play fighting that we've done I've gotten used to the bruises and the pain that comes along with it.. he immediately freaked out when he noticed what he was doing he apologized and told me that he was about to break my arm and that he really believed that he wouldn't hurt me again, but obviously he was wrong. Honestly, I really didn't care at that point... I love fighting with him... we have a lot of fun and it's a great alternative because my parents would shun me if I took up boxing... and he has only gone to that point 2 times (choking at 6 months and twisting my arm at 1 yr). I have seen him cry on several occasions... one time he was feeling really shitty another time I was going to break of with him to avoid the break up when I moved... and a few times afterwards. On my part... when we were in an open relationship only I dated others... he suggested the open relationship so I wouldn't break it off with him... which obviously hurt him... and there have been several occasions where I said or did things to upset him... like before the open relationship I cheated on him... but not with another man.. no no no my best friend (a woman) when he told me not to (yes i asked him) although all this does sound bad... but there are more good things... in my opinion the fact that we tell each other everything... the fact that we are always honest with each other.. and we have something that no one else understands. I have heard countless amounts of people saying that we were fuck buddies during the open relationship... when we knew that we were still together... the other people were like "benefits" meaning they weren't needed. anyway I can go on for long about the good things... but recently I have lost a lot of respect for him... when him and his mom had that fight during his birthday dinner (just a few days after his actual birthday where I ended the open relationship for his sake) he was being told not to drive me home since he had 3 shots of vodka (even though he ate a lot... sweat it out in bed with me... and waited 3.5 hrs)... I didn't take sides (parents or him) so i just stood there watching them yell at each other... him stomping around like a child... then his mom starts to cry... they go into another room... the come out and he cries... it just shocked me in the end i was given his birthday money to take an hour long taxi ride back home... never did i witness such an awkward moment now I can't look at him the same way... i still love him to bits but now i don't respect him as much as I did before and I get annoyed of him when he started to try and play fight... I've talked to him about this and he said that he wouldn't do that towards me... he says that both of us are too logical and open minded to fight like that recently he keeps talking about how others are getting married... and I suspect it's to get some incite into what I thing of marriage... but if this newly found view of him doesn't go away... I don't think we can have a future.. I'm afraid he might act that way towards me... upsetting when I think about it, because that last thing I would want to do is break it off... before this happe Open Question: I don't know what to do anymore. Things are getting really bad for the two of us.?I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. We have gone through alot. We live together. Recently he lost his job due to the store closing. He is home all day every day. Being that I am a full time student and work a full time job I ask him to care for the house. He usually does it no problem but every so often he has these horrible fits. He throws things and knocks stuff over and talks about leaving me. He doesnt hurt me physically but he is emotionally tearing me up. I know that its from being home all the time and not working that is causing these stress fits but it is making things really bad for me. What do I do? Open Question: gay ex boyfriend problem?my ex boyfriend that i broke up with has recently come out as gay and has a boyfriend, i have a very close guy friend that i have no feelings for but whenever i bring him up to my ex or he sees us together he gets mad and it is tearing our friendship apart, im just tired of him either hating me or wanting to be friends, i just dont get it he can have a boyfriend but i cant have a close guy friend what should i do? Open Question: Quick 2 points! My cousin's boyfriend is hitting on me? Help?Recently, my cousin and her boyfriend came to visit. I live in Canada, and they're arriving from China. Maybe it's because of my mixed race, which could be new and exciting, or the fact that my parents are more well off than my cousin's family, but her boyfriend has started to make really salacious comments towards me when we're alone and in front of my boyfriend. He doesn't speak any english, so my boyfriend has no idea what he's saying. I've told that guy to back off, but he just doesn't friggin' get it!I haven't told my boyfriend about this yet because I know he's going to get violent. I also haven't told my cousin or family about this because I don't want to create any more problems than I have to. What more can I do to get my cousin's bf to stop this? It's starting to get out of hand and leading up to groping! Also, my cousin and her boyfriend live in my house and he sometimes comes into my room. It's extremely frustrating because I don't have a lock. What should I do? Open Question: is he just using me for sex?i met this man on monday on my way to work he was working in my area for a week bt then he was going back to darby where he lives. its only a hours drive from birmingham tho so this isnt a problem.. anyway he gave me his number and i txted him myn and he asked me if i would come meet him on the wesnday. he came into my work place tuesday to confirm we see each other the next day and i asked him what he'd planned.. and he sed wacth a film... all i would say is and knowing he'd want more and he made a joke say err and alittle sex and then laughed and sed dont worry babes. wensday we went bck to his place lisened to some music and he tried to make a move.... i told him ima virgin and that ive never really had a boyfriend before and i wasnt really ready and we talked about it. he told me alot about dont let anybody make u do anythin and he wont and he doesnt need to becuase he can get another girl but the short version is that he 'has needs' and he couldnt control himself so he drove me home. he say's he wants to see me again and keep in contact because he does really like me and he see me next week but i dont know if hes only saying that so he can try again and hope i give in... which 2bh i would as i really like him and dont wanna lose him. he also said even thought he not a guy who likes taking girls virginity he likes the fact that he knows i'll be faithful and that im wifey (serouis gf) material ive been reading up about having sex on the first date and alot of aduts dont see it as a bad thing and hes alot older than me so i really dont know. i tried to start a mini convo with my mom about how she knew she was ready but she wasn't intrested in talking to me about it which is why im asking this so before people start saying im a silly little girl i just dont know where to turn... i dont have any extened family just me mom and 2 little borthers both under 5yrs old hes 24 and im 17 UK so its legal Open Question: Should I bring my boyfriend with me when I have surgery?I'm 16 years old and my 17 year old boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 months. I love him to death and he knows all about my medical history and still loves me for it (: In January, I had a surgery done on my kidneys. The doctors didn't want to make another scar on my stomach so they went up through my vagina and bladder to get to my kidneys. The problem is, with them going up my vaginal, it caused problems and they had to do reconstruction. Now my "hole" is SO small! My boyfriend and I have talked about having sex but the prolem is, since I'm so tight/small I have to get something "stuck inside of me" to open me up. I am having surgery on the 28th to get my cecostomy buttong changed ( I'm not sure if that's how you spell it) and while I'm getting it changed, they are oing to put in the necessary thing to open me up. My mom and dad know I am interested in sex (obviously) and my mom and boyfriend get along really well and it wouldn't be awkward if it was just the two of them coming. Do you think it would be weird or innapropriate, with my dad there, for my boyfriend to come to the surgery that is partially preparing me to have sex with him? Oh! And I don't have to stay the night or anything....if everything goes well, I get to leave once the drugs wear off. Open Question: My cousin's boyfriend is hitting on me?Recently, my cousin and her boyfriend came to visit. I live in Canada, and they're arriving from China. Maybe it's because of my mixed race, which could be new and exciting, or the fact that my parents are more well off than my cousin's family, but her boyfriend has started to make really salacious comments towards me when we're alone and in front of my boyfriend. He doesn't speak any english, so my boyfriend has no idea what he's saying. I've told that guy to back off, but he just doesn't friggin' get it!I haven't told my boyfriend about this yet because I know he's going to get violent. I also haven't told my cousin or family about this because I don't want to create any more problems than I have to. What more can I do to get my cousin's bf to stop this? It's starting to get out of hand and leading up to groping! Also, my cousin and her boyfriend live in my house and he sometimes comes into my room. It's extremely frustrating because I don't have a lock. Help! Open Question: jealous of my older sister?im a 16 year old girl, and my sister just turned 22, and i guess you could say were fairly close. she recently had the gastric bypass (my sister has been pretty all her life but was overweight) so she lost a ton of weight and she is so gorgeous now, she has no problem getting guys. i think i am so ugly compared to her, but people tell me im pretty too (i dont believe them) she recently started going out with this really nice, HOT, guy, and i think he might be the one she marries. i cant help but feel jealous, i've never had a boyfriend, and my sister has all the good genes. shes gorgeous, shes popular, shes funny, everyone loves her, and im quiet, and the more serious type. if i was half has pretty as she was i'd be so happy, i cant help but feel jealous and i hate this. can anyone help me? please. Open Question: Am I just one of those people that God doesn't want me to married?Am I just one of those people that God doesn't want me to married? I'm 21, I've never had a girlfriend. I've never even been kissed by a girl. I don't even have any friends that are girls... I've been praying for a girlfriend for over 6 years. There are no singles group at my church. All the girls there are either too old for, too young for me, have a boyfriend, or just don't like me. I love God, and I'm trying to become a stronger Christian all the time. I'm waiting until after I'm married for sex. I don't drink I don't smoke I don't do drugs I'm a virgin I'm waiting till I'm married for sex.(This include oral and anal) I'm a computer geek I'm planning on becoming a video game programmer.(I'm actually pretty sure that's what God wants me to do too.) I do sometimes look at porn, though for the most part it's fixed. But I could still use some prayer for to get this fixed. Since I don't want it in my life anymore. I do have basic hygine. I brush my teeth I shower I use deorderent I don't smell badly. I'm about 5-8" or 5-9" feet tall. I have dirty blond hair. I have no disfiguring scars or anything like that. Personalty: I'm nice. loyal respect(I actually look at a girl's face when I'm talking to a girl, and not her breasts) sincere I listen to what girls have to say, and actually care what they are feeling and saying. trusting honest smart I'm lazy I have Social Anxeity Disorder I have low self confidence I can be selfish I tend to slur my speech. I talk too speech. I have a hard time explaining things. I have perverted mind, and like perverted jokes, though I don't act on the pervertedness. I like touching when it comes to girls(Nothing sexual till married) Just stuff like hugs. I have OCD(Mostly fixed, yay God) GAD(Mostly fixed, yay Jesus) ADD(Not bad enough to cause any real problems) Social Anxiety and a touch of depression(Fixed) More Recent Articles
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