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Open Question: I MISS HIM/What would you do? and more... Open Question: I MISS HIM/What would you do?Hello everyone! Before I start I just wanted to introduce myself. Obviously, I'm Jacob and I'm 23 and from Texas. I'm very excited to be a part of this board. My boyfriend says he uses this all the time and has gotten some real good answers (So I wanted to say thanks to all those who were here for him when I wasn't). My question is actually in regards to him. He is 24, in the military and stationed halfway across the damn world and won't be coming home for except for approx a year at a time for three years! Obviously I can go see him if I saved my money but the problem is the military…this stupid ignorant don't ask don't tell policy has got us both worried. (He joined before when he was with a girl (bi) we hooked up and when he was stationed only three hours away, it's a long story). We feel in love and don't want to call it quits but this is without a doubt a very hard situation for the both of us! Im just worried, he has had a very hard life and I just don't want him to be sad or think that Im sitting here miserable. I have asked him about this but he is to stubborn to talk or admit to any sign of weakness! Just wanted your advice and see what you would do. BTW, the military has been great for him and I DO NOT want him to have to give it up, which he is currently in the middle of doing. (Forgive the typos and horrible grammer. He's the smart one between the two of us) Open Question: Virginity question (for non-virgin people who can relate to this)?ok so i'm still a virgin, I recently started dating a girl (who i've liked for quite some time) but found out that she's not a virgin. it shouldn't be that big of a deal, but it just is.. I don't blame her for what happened, she got used and it's not entirely her fault because she had no way of knowing she'd start dating an insecure virgin guy 8-9 months later. The thing is, it bothers the hell out of me knowing she'll never experience or feel what i'm feeling when it is my first time... and I do love her and I do really want to sleep with her, but I have this repulsive feeling which makes me want to lose my virginity to someone else who is also a virgin - before we start sleeping together. So what's the deal... has anyone here felt the same, or similar things when they were a virgin and dating a non-virgin? Does this feeling go away after you have sex for the first time? She's only had sex once, with one person -- I should consider myself lucky that it's not 25 times with half a dozen boyfriends.. So what's the likelihood that i'll get over this stupid feeling if I just suck it up and sleep with her for my first time? What makes it worse is that she said it was partially a date-rape incident, and felt sick afterwards.. She could be exaggerating to make it seem less like her fault, because she regrets it maybe.. But I believe what she tells me, she's a good person and I love her one hell of a lot.. so I need to fix my problems. You guys don't have to relate to the last paragraph I got a little carried away, just the first three or four. Any answers based on experience would be a tremendous help, thanks. =) I make it a habit to learn as much as possible about the person i'm dating, Holeemel. she did come clean about it a few days after asking me out because it was bothering her. If she (or anyone else for that matter) didn't tell me that theyd slept with past boyfriends, or lied about it when I asked - i'd dump them on the spot, even if we'd been together for 10 years. I have to know literally everythign about the person i'm with, otherwise I feel like other people know them better than I do, and I don't feel connected with them as a result. ..I can't relate to most of what you wrote, but that last paragraph really put thigns into perspective for me. Thanks a tonn for that -- and to everyone else who left positive comments Oh.. and yeah I would come clean about past sexual relations, even if it was someone who I was head over heels for and that I knew would feel grossed out about it. There's nothing wrong with having sex in past relationships, but hiding facts about yourself from someone you 'love' because you're scared that they won't take it well... that's so incredibly dishonest. Really.. =P Open Question: Men plz answer- I was proposed to and I think I want to say no- WOMEN GET SCREWED IN MARRIAGE?I'm 27 and my boyfriend just asked to marry me and I want to say no- not because I don't love him. but because after listening to all my guys friend and brothers deal with their marriage and relationship, I'm convinced that women get SCREWED IN MARRIAGE. Let me just say I'm not a man basher- I love men- the world would be boring without them. I'm independent- though I like when a guy does something for me without expectation and thus show my appreciation. I have a good job, take personal development classes, keep in good shape, and love to travel and do it often. I'm just afraid if I GET MARRIED I WILL LOSE MYSELF. As women we are taught to grow up, get educated,get a career, get married, and maybe have children. Men get mad if we make more than them. If we get married, we are constantly told we forced him to settle down despite the man is the one, more often then not, who proposed. We then have children, which takes a toll on our bodies making us less attractive. Now strapped with most of the child-rearing duties and a full time job outside the home (with the economy it is to me expected that both work so that the family can survive) we have no time to get back to pre baby status. And if we try to it costs money (nails, new clothes, hair, makeup) we are then called golddiggers. After making money, raising the couples children, doing most of the domestic chores, men then complain that the wife will not have sex due to tiredness and they wonder why? We can not ask for help because it would be nagging. They don't listen if we did approach them with a problem anyway. We give them their guy time to get away from the house despite being saddled with most of the domestic obligations ourselves. They put their friends first and we put our families first. They constantly complain about THE WIFE and then expect their wives to stroke their egos Men then use that time to cheat claiming that we became boring, no sex, or bad sex. I'm sorry, but a women with children, chores, and a fulltime job does not have time to get away to maintain herself ie girls night, waxing,take a class, read a good book or anything to she used to do that made the women interesting to the man to begin with. In divorce men complain that they get half their stuff taken- YA SO DO WE. ( I have a substantial saving pot, no debtat all, and two incoming producing rentals that I do not want to lose.) They complain that they lose the children when it has been my experience most of my divorce female friends say that their ex expected them to take the children because they don't want to hassle with raising them. Anybody with children know that matter how much child support they get it is never equal to half the cost of raising a child. Alimony- I do not believe in unless you can prove without a shadow of a double that the women had to give up her career for somebody to stay home and raise the child -daycare is equivalent to a months pay nowadays making it pointless to have someone else f-up your kids when you can do it the right way by staying home.- In the end the man can go and start a new family forgetting about his old one and a women is looked down upon in the dating world for having children. What should I do? Open Question: How can a Portuguese and American gay couple live together legally?In Portugal the law for same sex marriage will only be approved next year. If I move to the US and marry my boyfriend in a state that allows it, will I be able to stay there legally? Being from an EU country, I can live, for example, in Holland without any problems, if my American boyfriend comes to Holland and marries me, can he live there with me legally? Open Question: Feeling really sad and lonely?Im 20 (today) and I spend most of my time feeling really lonely. Its like I cant snap out of my miserable ways. I do have friends and people to hang around with but I still feel lonely and inadequate. I see other people and I think they are so much happier than me. Ive had a lot of problems with my ex boyfriend and I feel insecure like I'll never get anyone again :( I dont know how to feel better :( I wake up with a big sigh and I think who am I living for? More Recent Articles |
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