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Open Question: How do you know if you are an alcoholic? and more... Open Question: How do you know if you are an alcoholic?I totally enjoy a good glass of wine. I also love to share a pitcher of beer with my fiance while watching a Football game... but in my past I had an ex boyfriend convince me that I had drinking issues. i even attended some meetings for help.. but didn't relate too much to the people attending these meetings. I have since broke up with this ex boyfriend. And my new boyfriend (who I was friends with for 8 years before dating seriously) feels that I have no problems when it comes to alcohol. How do you REALLY know if you are an alcoholic? People who attend AA meetings do not tell you either way.. so you never really know. Open Question: Is there a chance at all that i can get her back?Me and my ex were together for 9 and a half months. We broke up because of arguments that were my fault. We were planning on getting eloped in January. She told me she wanted me to find the person she fell in love with and to realize the real reasons that i got with her in the first place. I did that and a whole lot more. Then family problems and other stress drove her to become emotionless and she couldn't love anybody. I tried to show her how much i cared and wanted to help ease her pain. Then i was laid off from my job (only place i could really see her in person) and now after a month since then and no contact what so ever. She has a new boyfriend that i know is a liar and all around bad guy. Shes a good person and i feel fully responsible for her fall from who she really is and i can see shes somewhat lost. I saw here at a party recently and her new boyfriend tried to start a fight with me when i was standing up for her because a friend of his called her a b****. I wouldn't fight him because i promised her i wouldn't fight any new guy unless she gave me the word. before i left the party i let her know that i love her through my friend delivering the message since i wasn't able to see her after that. It made her smile and she said she was sorry. I'm not entirely sure whats she was sorry for but i let her know once everyday that i love her. Then one time i text her that i love her and using her phone he told me to leave his girlfriend (her) alone. I told him "I love her and i let her know that everyday. If she wanted me to stop she'd say so." and plus i told him that i don't listen to him i listen to her and i got nothing back after that. Is there a chance at all i can get her back? Open Question: Is it ok to be friends with someone who tried to break up your relationship?Back in May, a mutual friend of my boyfriend and I tried to break us up. She spread rumors about him (saying he was sleeping w/ one of his other female friends), even told me this lie to my face. She would also do the whole "he said, she said" thing: she'd talk to him about our problems, then come to me saying something totally different, and vice versa. So naturally, this caused lots of fights for me and my boyfriend. She was smart about her lies and her tactics and it did indeed almost cause a breakup in June. We didn't figure out she was lying until after the damage had been done. She's no longer my friend because she's proven herself to be untrustworthy, two faced, and just an unsavory character. I haven't had any contact with her since right before the near breakup. However, my boyfriend is still friends with her, and this kills me. He tells me I have every right to be upset with her and not want to talk to her, but he still wants to be friends with her. He sends her txts and even went as far as to invite her over to his family's Thanksgiving because I wasn't going to be there! I've told him I wish he'd stop talking to her, but I'm not going to make him choose between us. I don't understand how he can still be friends with her after what she has done. It was as much a stab against him as it was against me. She caused so much hurt, fighting, and drama for both he and I. I can't forgive that or even begin to trust her. He's told me he's confronted her about the cheating lie, and she admitted to him she told the lie. However, yesterday he and I got into an argument about her, and she sent me a txt (prompted by him) saying that she never told this lie... when she had told it to my face months before hand and admitted it to my boyfriend later. I responded by politely asking her to never contact me again. I don't trust her. And it hurts me so much that my boyfriend keeps defending her (by saying she didn't mean to cause problems) and continues to persue a friendship with her. I say if she didn't mean to cause problems she would've apologized when she realized she was causing problems. As I said, it honestly kills me everytime he talks to her... it just feels like a slap in the face. He claims it's not. But it is, because he's doing so knowing how much it hurts me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I know i can't make him choose, but I desperately want her out of both of our lives. Any thoughts? Open Question: when is it reasonable to ask for change and when should i change?My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and we keep discovering more problems. In general, it ends up with me pointing out something I am unhappy with, then he'd promise to change, but then he'd do it again. For example, he'd persistently ask to have sex with me, even though I'd told him many times before that I feel very uncomfortable with sex before marriage, and I told him that both in a chance conversation while we were just friends, and repeatedly while we are going out. Another example is when he's tired or stressed, he'd say things that really worries me, such as he can understand why people cheat on their wives, he can understand why people kill, he might one day just lie to me about all the changes I wanted... he would say random things like "well, aren't you happy that everything is a mess? I'd like to see how you survive [in the future], and if you have to change your attitude, you've already lost [to me]." These statements makes me feel like we are not working towards any kind of mutually beneficial resolution, but just waiting to see who would lose. I feel very uncomfortable in these situations and I tell him so. Usually he'd just keep arguing with more and more radical things, then suddenly say "oh, you don't like that? ok, I didn't mean that then." When I question him on how he can just suddenly say "I didn't mean anything you didn't want to hear then" he'd just say he loves me and he's tired and wants to leave the talk for another time. Then the next day he'd just say yeah, he was wrong, he'll change. Then this issue would be put aside until the whole cycle repeats again. This has been going on for 2 years, and recently I have become more convinced that if this continues, perhaps we are not the best match for each other. Last night, we had another similar conversation, and he asked a good question: "you always ask me to change. Why can't you change for me? Why can't you just change yourself to accept that I have mood swings?" I've sometimes wondered about that too.... what makes my desire to not have sex before marriage more "legitimate"? Why can't I just let him say all those things to me when he's stressed? Am I just being selfish in wanting him to change for me? Is it possible for him to change? Is it possible for me to change? How do I know when I need to change versus we are just not right for each other? Open Question: My boyfriend Does NOT appreciate me Anymore!!! what to do?so my boyfriend and I are very comfortable with each other. At the beggining it seemed like he cared soo much more than I did..because I didnt let my guard down to easily..But now that I can show how i feel and i guess maybe im abit clingy..he doesnt hate it..thats the problem..he is using it to his advantage to be in power.Now he is acting as if he does not care as much! what can I do to get him back to appreciating his time with me? Open Question: what should i do in this situation?My boyfriend and I have been together only near 3 months now, and already we are having problems, to do with trust and respect. I have never really been on this website before, and am trying it out due to what he has done. in his past realtionships he has used this site for advise, and now in our realtionship is doing the same. however, this really upset me because it felt like he couldnt come to me and talk to me about the problems. and when i told him i was unhappy about it.. he told me to stop being so pathetic? What he was writing was hurtful, for example, "i am not sure i want to be with her" .. and the reasons why was because of a possible pregnacy or kidney infection :| - this i felt was wrong. and strange to ask strangers over the internet. The next day, i find he has been speaking to an EX-bestfriend of mine, that i was really close to for years and from a young age, randomly about their lifes and how they could meet up some time to "catch-Up".. they had been friends before we were together, but this is awkward and impossible to accept. especially if i had to find out about the convosations from a friend and not him. what should i do in this situation? Open Question: Who is wrong and to blame?Honest opinion, Tell me what you think because there is alot of upset people here. Girl meets boy,everything fine, oneday girl finds boy is cheating online talking with girls giving his number etc etc..many times. he promises he will never do it again, he begs her to stay and he loves her. Then he does it once more, she decided he isnt interested and not good enough so she goes and marries someone else. it dosent work, they spend 2 months apart, boy has a date with someone else.Both arnt normal, girl is depressed, suicidal because she loves boy too much and her life has felt ended, t boy is sending emails begging to come back. A friend brings them together and acts as a counsellor, they talk open and work the problems out,aknowledge they both did wrong. Girl leaves the short marriage to the other man, goes back with the first because she loves him more than anything in the world, faults and all. Things are fine and dandy. Friends now turn on girl saying she did the most awful things and cheated her boyfriend. Who do you think is the worst one here? Honest please? More Recent Articles |
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