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Open Question: How Can I Feel Better About Myself? : (? and more... Open Question: How Can I Feel Better About Myself? : (?Hey! my problem is that i've got it in my head now that im ugly - no matter what people say to me. i dont know what to do anymore, as ive got it in my head now and it's all i think about. my confidence is so low and i have no self esteem at all. i feel uncomfortable around my boyfriend as i just feel he can do miles better than me, and i can't go a day without putting make up on, even if im with my family because i just feel so ugly... can you please help me, what can i do so i feel better about myself? because it's really getting me down : ( Thanks! Open Question: Why am I so emotionless?I'm 17, 10/29/08 my best friend killed himself, and idk why but it didn't really affect me emotionally at all(I never talked to anyone about it). A couple weeks ago I moved from Michigan to Tennessee to get away from my mom and her dick boyfriend and I don't even miss any of my friends or family. when i was 13 my stepdad (my dad ditched out on me before i was born and i have no clue who he is(and that doesn't affect me emotionally either) and my stepdad got with my mom before i was 1 so he was always like my real dad) got addicted to meth and started getting really aggresive,he was constantly yelling at everyone and breaking evertying and he threatened to kill us several times, my mom finally ended up divourcing him and that didn't affect me either. Not even a year after that my mom ended up getting with some asshole who was constantly being a dick to me just for his entertainment. she then had a kid with him even tho we were already struggleing with money. and none of that affected me either . About 6 months ago I started thinking about killing myself, which really confuses me because compared to alot of people my life is good, and at first i didn't think anything of it but it was constantly getting worse, about 4 months ago I started cutting and once again I have no clue why, I just randomly get urges to do it and the more i ignore it the worse it gets and the the longer i wait the deeper i end up cutting, so I guess I do have emotions but... well I can't really feel them. and also I remember almost nothing that happened in my life past age 14 but from what I've been told all of my cousins and my sister and step brother were constantly making me miserable. When ever someone ask me to list good qualities about myself i freeze because I can't think of any. I have a lot of people that i chill with but I don't have any true friends, i've had 3 good friends in my life, 2 turned out to be backstabbing ***holes who were just using me and the other killed himself. I've had a few girlfriends but i didn't love any of them, I've actually never loved anyone, not even family, and that really disturbs me. last year i spend 2 months in juvie because my mom called the cops and said that i threatened to kill her even though i could never threaten to kill someone, and then told me that i got what i had coming because i did bad in school even tho i tried my hardest i just could never concentrate on anything longer then 2 minutes. I've been like that my whole life and when i was going to school it made my life hell because of all the trouble i'd get in at home for failing classes. there were a few years in my life where i was really bad with my mom, constantly flipping out and cussing her out, I finally got it under controll last year but she still constantly throws it in my face and acts like I'm a horrible person even though i hated myself after every fight i got in with her. I've had a couple therapist, and I've been in an anxiety counselling group and idk why but i could never tell them about wanting to kill myself and cutting, i really couldn't tell them any of my problems, I always feel like an ***hole when i complain about my life because there are sooo many people out there that have it so much worse then me. Sorry for all of the typing i know that no one wants to real all of that, i just got in sordove a trance when i started typing and couldn't stop, half of those were suppressed memories i didn't remember until i started typing, that's why all of the events i put are in a completely random order. Open Question: bf questions...pls answer?my boyfriend seems really affectionate a lot. when i visit him at home he cooks sometimes, gives me massages and i also give him back scratch which he loves. when we re in bed, he is so affectionate, cuddling me and very gentle and romantic, the sex is very intense. Its all in his eyes, i know he has feelings for me, cause his eyes tells a lot of that even though sometimes he finds it hard to say it However the main problem here is that when I leave, he rarely contacts, If i send him a text he replies almost immediately but hardly ever makes contacts first what is going on here. it makes me feel like something is wrong. does this sound normal or could he be faking all the affection. i need advice pls... i know he doesnt have another girl. also he is not always demanding sex, he respects me. i just worry a bit with e always initiating the text Open Question: Help! I am crippled by my bad childhood!?As a child I was severely bullied all throughout school. If you can name it I was bullied for it. For what I look like, what I walk like, a certain physical abnormality I have etc. etc. It was so bad that I fell into a deep depression by the time I was 14 and became suicidal. Because all the guys thought I was disgusting I didn't manage to have an actual boyfriend until I was a senior in high school and I somehow managed to end up marrying this guy. I am 26 now and I am still having trouble getting past my crappy childhood. No matter what I always feel like people are staring at me and making fun of me behind my back. I don't trust anyone and I constantly feel like there is something wrong with me. Because the bullying had been so severe that I felt dehumanized by these kids I barely even feel human today. A couple of these kids have tried to apologize to me as adults and tried to be friendly but rather then accept their apologies their actions make me feel even more angry because I feel like they still look at me as the same pathetic piece of shit if they feel such a strong urge to apologize. I feel like they're saying "Oh, poor thing" and I don't need nor want their sympathy. I live 300 miles from where I grew up and have tried to build a new life formyslef as an adult but i still feel crippled by what happened to me as a child. I have already been told your an adult now you need to leave that stuff behind you but these people did not have the idea that something is wrong with them drilled in their heads for 13 years. Its kind of difficult to erase that. Therapy does no good because all the therapists want to do is medicate me rather than actually help me solve the problem. Yes, I know there are people out there who have probably had worse childhoods then me but that does nothing to make me feel better. Its starting to effect my adult life and I feel I will never be successful if I don't find a way to get past this. Anyone have any ideas? Preferably no cliches or anything that involves antidepressants because those will be of no use to me. More Recent Articles |
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