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Open Question: Hmm, is it wrong of me to want to spend more time with my busy boyfriend? and more... Open Question: Hmm, is it wrong of me to want to spend more time with my busy boyfriend?(I've asked this before but just wanted more opinions! :)) My boyfriend is an overachiever - student council president, straight A student, star of the track team, popular, lots of community service, etc etc etc. We're both seniors in high school. I'm not as busy as him, but still very busy. He's a super organised and focused person, whereas I'm the sort who'll put the people I love in front of everything else, no questions asked. I'll spend the whole night on the phone to comfort someone or a whole day before an exam planning a party if I have to - I'll make sacrifices and deal with the other stuff later (and I do). I guess this is why it's hard for me sometimes to deal with my boyfriend being so busy that we barely get to spend quality time together and go out on proper dates. It especially hurts when I find out he's been out with other friends - not that I don't want him to have fun with his friends, but if he can spend time with them, why not me? I feel like I'm being taken for granted because I'm so understanding, but I don't know if I'm just being selfish. I know he loves me and all and when we do meet up or talk on the phone, we both have a super great time. But I hate feeling needy because although I know he cares, it just seems like I care more than him. I hate being the one asking if we can spend time together. When I do, he has no problems declining to spend time on his schoolwork or something, whereas he found it totally surprising that I once declined a date to do work. Is it wrong for me to feel this way? And I want to talk to my boyfriend about it, but how do I go about doing it without being accusatory and seeming too needy? Open Question: I feel like my life has fallen apart...?This might be long, so bear with me. I lost my job back in February. I got fired, because I wasn't doing my job well. I've worked two temporary jobs since then, and one part time job that I ended up quitting because it wasn't working out. I got laid off from my second temporary job this past Saturday, due to the fact that the company wasn't meeting their sales goals. I feel horrible about this, because this is the first job I've had in about seven years that I actually enjoyed. As I stated earlier, I lost my last full time job in February. I met my current boyfriend in March. He met me knowing fully well I was unemployed. By June, it just happened to work out that he needed a new place to live and I needed help with my bills, so he moved in. We both agreed that it was far too early for us to move in together, but it was kind of the "right" (I use right for lack of a better word) time as we were both in need. By July I had gone through my savings and couldn't afford to pay rent or electricity anymore. He agreed to pay both (it comes out to about $680 a month - he makes $1500 a month, and has no bills other than rent/electricity - his mom pays for his cell phone and his car insurance). I basically ended up being his maid. I do his laundry, clean the apartment, wash the dishes, pick up after him, give him massages, and oral sex most times he asks. How can I say no to the person who's paying the rent/electricity? Back in July, we ended up taking in one of his mom's dogs, his brother and his brother's girlfriend for a week. The dog was a huge problem because first of all we're not allowed to have dogs in our building (luckily the landlord never shows so he never knew), and secondly the dog is the spawn of Satan – I'm not kidding. I like dogs, but I HATED this dog. He growled at me, tried to bite me (and everyone else), refused to be disciplined, etc. I was so happy when that week was over and the dog, his brother, and his brother's girlfriend were gone. Again, I had to say yes – how can I tell the person paying the bills no? Fast forward a few months. In October, his brother decided to drop out of college. Again, he came to stay with us for a week – except he ended up breaking up with his girlfriend, and so he has been here ever since. Neither of us has a job (except the month I had a temporary job), which is not to say that we aren't looking, but the job market sucks, as I'm sure you're all aware. We've had numerous issues with his brother, including him having a drug problem (spent a week in rehab for that, has been sober ever since – at least that we're aware of), he stole from me (said he did it when he was on drugs, hasn't stolen anything else since). He's a good kid and wicked smart (already in his junior year of college at 19), but he's made more than his fair share of mistakes. But he is improving. Now that I've explained the situation, let me try to unravel the tangle of emotions I feel. First of all, I feel that I am being taken advantage of. I couldn't say no to my boyfriend's brother moving in, but our apartment isn't made for three people – it's barely big enough for two. Everyone uses my things, doesn't pick up after themselves, things are getting broken, they both drop food and spill drinks on the carpet, and I just feel generally disrespected. But I also realize that my boyfriend feels rather disrespected because he views us as, well, dead weight. I feel like he doesn't understand that we're trying but can't find jobs, and that we try to keep him happy. One day he'll be reasonable about things and then the next he's complaining about how I can't pay my half of the bills. For example, when I got my paycheck from my temporary job, I explained to him that I could either pay my bills or pay my half of the rent, not both. He said I could pay my bills, and he was fine with it. But today he got so pissed off because I couldn't pay him. This is what drives me nuts. One day he says one thing, and the next he says something totally different. As a result, I usually don't listen to most things he says because I know by the next day he'll change his mind. I've tried talking to him about how he needs to make up his mind, or think before he speaks. It hasn't helped. I feel like my whole life has fallen apart. I feel so useless, like a complete waste of space. I've watched everything I've worked for go down the drain. I have no savings. My credit card is maxed out. I don't even want to know what my credit score has dropped down to (it used to be 762 - I was so proud of it!). My goal was to have a house and my own car by the time I was 25. That was over a year ago. I want to travel the world. I feel like all my dreams are a waste because now they'll never come true. All things considered, I've been rather optimistic about things. I try to look on the bright side but sometimes it's just so hard, especially when my boyfriend is mad at me for something I can't control (i.e. the job market). It also doesn't h Apparently it cut me off...let me finish... It also doesn't help matters that not only do we live in the state that has one of the highest unemployment rates, but we live in the region that has been hit the worst throughout the entire state. I haven't been to college, but I would like to go. I realize now that I need to have at least a little bit of school under my belt. Things feel so hopeless. I'm sad to admit that I have considered suicide. I'm pretty sure I could never go through with it, first of all because I'm too chicken. Secondly, I think of all the things I think of all the things I would miss. I would never get my own house, my own car, I would never get to travel, and I would never get to see my niece and nephew grow up. In short, I want to know how the story ends – it had better damn well not end with me taking a razor to my wrists. I don't know where to go for help. I want my life back. Does anyone have any advice? Where I can go, who I can talk to, etc.? Open Question: Can my girlfriend move in with me without any problems when she is 18?Here's my situation. I was a senior in high school in 07-08 and an old friend of mine had a little sister who just became a freshman. My friend was Joanna and her little sister was Cassandra. Joanna introduced me to her little sister over the summer and we started talking a little bit. Then when school started I would spend time sitting with them and talking with Cassandra. Little by little Cassandra and I began to attract to each other but I didn't want to try anything because at the time she was 15 and I 17. Besides that, I didn't want people to look at me as the senior who goes fishing for the young freshman. I respect women to much to lead them on so I really really didn't try to. But as time passed she would start to hold my hand and kiss me on the cheek and walk to classes together. You know, typical nice things like that. All those things are hard to ignore. My heart was falling for this girl. So one day she comes out and tells me the apparent in that she really likes me. Oh and another thing, she was dating a guy already and was currently in a relationship. So the age thing and her relationship status made me tell her I couldn't feel anything for her (when obviously I did). So I guess that upset her and she stopped talking to me for like a week. But then she came around and started to conversate with me. She said she couldn't stay mad at me and she respects my decision. But still with that being said, the flirting didn't stop. And keep in mind i've never had a woman pursue me in my life. It has always been the other way around. So i really had a ton of amount of respect for her putting herself out there like that. As time went on she started hanging out with me and my senior friends. She was practically the only freshman surrounded by seniors. And all of my friends could tell the infatuation between the two of us. And also even told me to go for it and that we would make such a great couple. So one day she asked me the question again, why wouldn't I go out with her. And I told her that it was because she already had a boyfriend. So she said is that the only thing stopping us from being with each other and I told her yeah. So the next day she has a huge smile on her face like none other I have ever seen on her. So I asked her why the excitement? And she told me that she was all mine and that she had broken up with her boyfriend for me. I was so shocked that she would do something like that so fast. But I had to live up to my word, so then we started dating. Now as time went by she seemed a bit down. So one day I asked her was she not happy with me or if I was doing anything wrong to not keep her content. And she told me that nothing was wrong with me, that I was perfect. But that her grandma has never liked any of her boyfriends and that she was scared because she didn't want to lose me because of her grandma. Now I know what you're thinking. Why is her grandma's opinion so important? Well she lives with her grandma because her mother passed away when she was 13 due to cancer. So to her dismay, her grandma didn't like me just like her other boyfriends. But I wasn't going to let her stop us from being happy. So we still were seeing each other, I guess u can say "secretly". And everything was going ok. But then I graduated and she stayed in school. So she tried to reason with her grandma about dating me but her grandma wouldn't budge. As a matter of fact she changed my girlfriend's number hoping that would stop us from communicating. But we still overcame that and started to secretly date. It was hard at first seeing her but we eventually got use to it and began to meet up places like restaraunts, movies, etc. And we've been going strong now for a little bit over 2 years. Our love is stronger than ever and in 7 months when she turns 18 she plans on moving in with me. I know you probably think we're too young and don't know what love is but everything we've been through. I think i can call that love. Now like i said we have been planning for a while now that she would move in with me at 18 because my family loves her and treat her like family. But that's not the case with her side of the family. And I just wanted to know can she legally move out without being stopped by her grandma because I think her grandma would try everything in her power not to let her out the door even though she's 18. I just want a answer with some proof to back it up. Sorry I told you my life story but I felt you would only know what we've been goin through all this time if you knew the whole thing. (Oh, and I live in Dallas, TX.) Open Question: please read friend is pregnant needs help!?hi, my friend has been seeing this guy for a while who is white and she is pregnant problem is that she was raped around the time she would have conceived the man who raped her was black and her boy friend is white and doesn't know about the pregnacy yet if her boyfriend is the father she wants to keep it but does not want to keep the baby if its by the man who raped her. understandable. is there a test she can take that will allow her to find out who the father is. before the baby is born More Recent Articles
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