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Open Question: Am I a Bad Person Or Not? and more... Open Question: Am I a Bad Person Or Not?Ive been dating my boyfriend for 3 yrs now. Always wanted to get married.. WE both wanted to get married. we knew we would since we were high school sweetheart. Tonight he proposed. Its something Ive wanted since I was born.. haha. Always wanted a guy to propose in front of many people with a beautiful diamond ring.. The only problem is that i walked out to my car to go home from work, he was there waiting and got on his knee..no one was out there and the ring is Cubic Zirconia. Hes 19 with a job and lives on his own.. has since he was 17 and pays his bills and has two cars. One is a toyota and another is a 64 Comet he's fixing up... So the question is... Am I a bad person for not being happy and wanting him to re do it..even obviously I would NEVER ask that. Am I a bad person for not wanting to tell people because I dont want them to ask OMG is it real?! Should I just be happy that this man wants to join lives with me and wants a future with me instead of being worried about it being a diamond or how he asked?? Please let me know. In a way I feel I shouldnt settle.. and in another way I feel like an ungrateful little you know what. Thanks! Open Question: boyfriend vs. best friend?I've had a best friend "Kaye", which i met in the Philippines for about 5 years now, give or take. However, I moved back here in California, and she moved back to Singapore, so for about 2 years + we havent seen each other, though we do contact each other regularly. For about a year and a half now I've been going out with a guy "Jay" who I think can make me happy for a very long time, although there are the bumpy moments and the fights over little things. To be honest, I'm still trying to get used to a particular side of his personality. Let's just say that we accept each other for who and how we are, for the most part. "Jay" is a little on the insecure side, and a bit the jealous type, which presents the problem - "Kaye" and I want to meet again in the Philippines for about 2 weeks. I havent told Jay this yet, because I don't know how to actually say that I don't want him to be with me there. Jay has a very needy personality, and I know that I just wouldnt be able to enjoy the short 2 weeks I'd have with Kaye if I also have to tend to Jay (who by the way was born in the Philippines). I miss my friend Kaye terribly, and sometimes I think that its "bros before hoes" (female version of course), but Jay is a good guy too who is serious about our relationship...It's just that Jay is too dependent on me physically and would probably worry himself to death about me , and knowing his jealousy would probably accuse me of things I wouldn't even do while we're apart... So..I have several questions.. 1. Should I still meet my friend in the Philippines, risking Jaye? 2. If I tell him I'm going to meet my friend, even if he doesn't let me, would that be reason enough to split? (i love him too, but sometimes i feel like our relationship leaves me gasping for air, which is a whole 'nother question altogether) 3. Should I just invite him to the Philippines, even though he'll be a big drag when it comes to my time with Kaye? (because I know he won't enjoy Kaye's company, he's a bit of a whiner and bores easily, ((kaye and i can talk endlessly about stupid things))) Open Question: I need resources to get out of an abusive relationship?I am 25 years old and had a baby in 2007 with a man I was in a relationship for 3 years. My babys daddy was really abusive while I was pregnant, before and after. He did fucked up shit like chased me around with a tazer, and controlled everything in my life. I don't want any haters to ask me what the hell I was thinking. It's really un explainable. My mom was in an abusive relationship and I used to always tell her I had no sympathy for her because she was the one who chose to be in that relationship and could have gotten out of it sooner than she did. I never understood until I was in one myself. It's unexplainable. It's not that I didn't think I didn't deserve someone better I just was scared to leave, scared he would find me, kill me, start my parents house on fire or do numerous things he had threatened on a daily basis. When I called the police on him it really didn't do any good. It was ridiculous what the police called "help." Sure they helped me press charges and they pressed charges but nothing good came from any of it and it only made my life more difficult. Anyway, I ended up leaving him when he got physical infront of our daughter for the first time and her and I went to a shelter for 3 months and then I had resources from being in the shelter and they helped me get into a program that paid a partal amount of my rent so I could afford to have a place for my daughter and I. I never kept her from him, we worked out a custody agreement....he is a good dad when we are not together but a terrible dad when we are together because of the way he treats me infront of her. My daughter does not need to experience that, witness that or be in the middle of the abuse. It was 50/50 custody and it toally sucked for the first few months because I couldn't stand not having my 1 and a half year old daughter with me all the time, but I got used to it because I had no choice and I wasn't going to get back with him just so I could have her everyday. She was better off sharing custody with her parents than witnessing an abusive relationship. I was apart from him for 8 months and then I had 4 girls jump me at my apartment complex (one of them was supposed to be my best friend), they decided to jump me over the stupidest thing ever..... I had a new boyfriend and wasnt hanging out with her as often as before and she was upset about it and wouldn't compromise her time for me spending time with my new boyfriend. Well when I got into this fight the cops were called by a neighbor and we all got tickets because we were all fighting even though they started it and I was just defending myself. Im not going to let 4 girls jump me without a fight, of course I was going to defend myself and fight back. Because we all got tickets we all got kicked out of our apartments and out of the government program we were in. I was terrified with where I would go. I have no family. My mom and dad live in a different state along with most of my family except the ones I refuse to live with because they are meth addicts or do not have a good living condition that I would want to bring my daughter into. I was going to go live with a friend for a few months while she tried to help me figure out how I could live in my own apartment with my daughter but Steve saw this as his way back in (I didn't think about that at that time but I realize this now) so he begged for me back, cried and pleaded, said he didn't want to loose me and that he had changed, and that he would go to anger management classes. This went on for weeks of him sincerely asking for me to give him another chance. I stupidly did beaing nieve and thinking that maybe I could give it one more chance. Everything was great for 3 months, we didn't argue, he respected me and talked with me when problems arose instead of arguing or attacking me or making me feel like I was stupid or something was my fault. He went over finances with me, spent time with us and just was the perfect guy...prince charming.....everything I had always hoped I could have with my baby's daddy. I love him and want to grow old together and have a bigger family. Everything was perfect. For the last 2 months he has slowly been getting worse, arguing with me over any small disagreement, yelling at me infront of our daughter, not calling me to check in after 10 hours of being gone. Im not his probation officer but I think it is just respectful to check in with your family to let them know how your day is going, when you may be expected to come home, just common respect in my eyes. I show him that respect and he expects it, almost demands it but yet he doesn't give me the same respect. We don't talk like best friends anymore, we don't laugh together, have conversations, go out on dates, I feel like when we talk it is business. Like he will day things like "hey do you know where this is, can you find it for me? Hey can you google this for me?" It's like when we talk it is just on business type terms not normal loving Open Question: My boyfriend broke up with me and i dont know what to do?Ok so.. me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 years... We had a long-distance relationship and only met 1 time for 2 weeks during this time. He was going to come visit me for 3 months this summer and then he found out that he wont be able to due to family problems... so he decided to break up with me. I still love him so much and i miss him already, i know he feels the same about me too but he said that if we keep on with this relationship we will both just end up getting hurt in the end anyways. I know hes right but i just didnt want it to end like this and i cant imagine my life without him. Im still hoping that he will change his mind about it and talk to me but i have a feeling he wont. We had our ups and downs in the relationship but we always ended up fixing it and he was always the one initiating it. But this time it feels different.. like if he was really sure about breaking up.. Should i try to get him back or should i just try and get over him? (Sorry for the long post..) Open Question: Guys would you continue to date a girl if (edited)?one day she was like "It's always been a fantasy of mine for my boyfriend to pull my panties down, bend me over, and spank my bare butt until I start to cry"? Would you agree to do that for her or would you just think that's strange and break up with her. Because, honestly..it is something I'd like to experience, but I've never told a guy because I'm afraid of it causing problems in a relationship. EDIT** (for those of you who have a problem with the '"until I start to cry," I only said that to demonstrate that I wouldn't want him you to lightly tap me a few times and be like 'bad girl' haha...I'd really want my cheeks to sting I mean. you don't literally have to bring tears to my eyes. I actually found it kind of touching how some guys were like "i wouldn't want to hurt you like that" in my other question. good to know guys don't all have a secret desire to beat their girls) More Recent Articles |
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